I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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