Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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