whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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