i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
