I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize