Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
