ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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