I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I need moral support for this bender
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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