I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
