twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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