We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
