My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
