that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize