Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
