She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
