My friends, they love my intelligence
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found the puke drawer
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't deserve a penis
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
