no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
