the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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