somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
