Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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