i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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