weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
