Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
