the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
