so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
