I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
