so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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