THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize