whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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