i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think your dad took our porno
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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