I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
