Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
