I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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