I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
