youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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