Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
