The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Do you have feelings for this penis?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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