No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He did a backflip because drugs
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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