K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just had sex on a roof
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
