the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
