Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
