My girlfriend figured out who you are.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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