You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
operation have a gay friend backfired
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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