What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize