my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
