People in love make me want to vomit
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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