she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
