The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
