Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
