For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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