brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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