So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
