I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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