Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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