Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
