He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
