Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
