i was born a porn star she said
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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