My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
