you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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