Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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