You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
